What is Self-Regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to adjust or regulate the level of alertness depending on the time of the day and the stimuli presented. For instance the ability to wake up in the morning, become alert and adapt to the school environment and demands placed on the nervous system in the school setting…including attention to task, cognitive demands, communication, social and emotional demands, and motor tasks (gross, fine, and visual motor). Then returning home for the evening and preparing the nervous system for rest and sleep. The ability to self- regulate the nervous system involves all of these components, including the sleep/wake cycle. Children with sensory differences quite often have a very difficult time with self-regulation due to various reasons and factors. Adapting to the environment, and constantly changing needs and demands on the nervous system requires very complex processing in the brain, which is often taken for granted. When children have a difficult time with self regulation, we observe maladaptive behavior or responses to the environment and sensory stimuli. It is very important to identify these signals of self-regulation before jumping to conclusions that it is behaviorally driven. Depending on the neuro-behavioral state of the brain, the child may need an increased amount of sensory input or a decreased amount of sensory input.
Dysregulation »»» Co-Regulation »»» Self-Regulation
There is a process in which the brain learns and develops the ability to self-regulate. For those with sensory differences, this process can be so much more difficult, and the amount of time spent dysregulated is much more than the neuro-typical brain. We are taught to help a child self-regulate by giving them the sensory tools they may need, and to do so independently. This is strongly recommended and very essential, BUT sometimes the most important step is missed. The important step of co-regulation.
Co-regulation is when a person feeds off of the state of regulation of those around them. And our children are like regulating sponges! They sense it all and they feel the stress of others. A can also sense frustration, disappointment, sadness, and is extremely sensitive to the state of regulation of those around them. This includes if and when a parent is stressed, anxious, unsettled, angry, or irritated (even when it is not directly related to that child). This can also include your tone of voice, speed of talking, pitch in your voice, and body language. Even too much excitement and praise can be overwhelming and create a state of sensory overload...so be aware of this side of things as well. Most children do NOT do well in a rushed, intense, loud, multi-sensory environment...even the sensory seekers. Occasionally this is fine, and completely part of life...but not on a day to day basis. Remember that a child is co-regulating from those around him minute by minute.
A child with sensory differences often relies on those around them to help "co-anchor and co-regulate" and to help achieve and maintain a state of self-regulation. Think of it this way...let's say you are outside in a horrible wind storm, 100mph winds, and the stop sign at the corner is the only thing for you to hang on to keep you safe and from blowing away. Well, this can be how your child may feel...like their world and life is a constant "wind storm"...and YOU are the stop sign. The wind storm is dysregulation, and the stop sign is co-regulation.
It is SO important for us as parents to be that solid rock, stable and calm co-anchor and co-regulator in all situations. Our sensory kids already see this world as a scary, unpredictable, out of sorts, and sometimes painful kind of place...we need to be that safe place and solid rock they can rely on in challenging and stressful situations and moments.
There is a process in which the brain learns and develops the ability to self-regulate. For those with sensory differences, this process can be so much more difficult, and the amount of time spent dysregulated is much more than the neuro-typical brain. We are taught to help a child self-regulate by giving them the sensory tools they may need, and to do so independently. This is strongly recommended and very essential, BUT sometimes the most important step is missed. The important step of co-regulation.
Co-regulation is when a person feeds off of the state of regulation of those around them. And our children are like regulating sponges! They sense it all and they feel the stress of others. A can also sense frustration, disappointment, sadness, and is extremely sensitive to the state of regulation of those around them. This includes if and when a parent is stressed, anxious, unsettled, angry, or irritated (even when it is not directly related to that child). This can also include your tone of voice, speed of talking, pitch in your voice, and body language. Even too much excitement and praise can be overwhelming and create a state of sensory overload...so be aware of this side of things as well. Most children do NOT do well in a rushed, intense, loud, multi-sensory environment...even the sensory seekers. Occasionally this is fine, and completely part of life...but not on a day to day basis. Remember that a child is co-regulating from those around him minute by minute.
A child with sensory differences often relies on those around them to help "co-anchor and co-regulate" and to help achieve and maintain a state of self-regulation. Think of it this way...let's say you are outside in a horrible wind storm, 100mph winds, and the stop sign at the corner is the only thing for you to hang on to keep you safe and from blowing away. Well, this can be how your child may feel...like their world and life is a constant "wind storm"...and YOU are the stop sign. The wind storm is dysregulation, and the stop sign is co-regulation.
It is SO important for us as parents to be that solid rock, stable and calm co-anchor and co-regulator in all situations. Our sensory kids already see this world as a scary, unpredictable, out of sorts, and sometimes painful kind of place...we need to be that safe place and solid rock they can rely on in challenging and stressful situations and moments.