Fight or Flight

Understanding what fight or flight looks like with a child is CRUCIAL in determining how to respond. The primitive and actual purpose of fight or flight is to divert blood from the brain to the muscles in order to respond quickly and with great strength as needed. For instance, you hear stories about the mom who lifted the car or tree off of her child...the mom was obviously in fight or flight to protect her child and the brain and nervous system responded accordingly. When the blood is diverted to the muscles instead of the brain, the brain is no longer in a cortical level of thinking or using executive functioning...it is simply in protective mode. This may sound a little scary, but somewhat like a wolf in the wild. They react and respond on instinct and survival...you can not rationalize with a wolf and ask it to sit for a treat, or to choose the raw steak over your arm. Ok, ok...I am getting a little graphic here, but my point is...this is the same type reaction a child may have in response to sensory input that is perceived as dangerous or a threat to the nervous system. The unfortunate part is this tends to happen many times a day for a child with sensory sensitivities.

Here are some more examples of what "fight or flight" might look like for a child....

Kicking, screaming, biting, spitting, throwing things, etc
A child may try finding any place possible where visual and auditory input are decreased, as well as it being somewhere that they will not be touched or are required to make eye contact.
They may try to find a cozy and tight space where their body will receive much needed proprioception and deep pressure touch. Possibly under a table or bed, buried in your arms, or retreating to the corner of a room.
They may cover their ears, close their eyes, and tuck their arms and legs in as much as possible
They may run and try to escape from the situation at hand...without any regard to safety
The child may lash out...keep in mind this is not the child being aggressive or intending to hurt someone, their nervous system is doing the talking.
They child may scream, talk back, call names, cry uncontrollably (also the nervous system)
It may also present in a much more subtle way, such as "checking out" or zoning out.
You may also observe a quick change in facial expression and quick shift of mood and emotion...possibly to irritability, frustration, anger, or crying and panic.

Here are some guidelines on the best way to respond....

Encourage deep breathing...even if you are doing the deep breaths, it is amazing how the child will likely pick up on it and start taking deep breaths. Remember talking to the child or asking the child to do it is not the ticket. The deep breaths will also help you as the parent feel better. Research indicates that taking deep breaths is one of the most effective tools to bring the brain/nervous system back to ready state.
If the child will let you...just hold them tightly, providing deep pressure touch in the form of an even pressure bear hug. Do not rub their arm or back or hair, no rocking, and simply be quiet with them. (Taking deep breaths)
Do not talk to the child or try to rationalize or bargain with them.
If they have a sensory retreat, encourage the child to go there or even help guide them there.
If they have found their own make shift sensory retreat (behind a TV or under a bed), leave them alone until they are ready to come out. (It may take awhile, be patient)
When the child is feeling better, follow up with a sensory activity involving proprioception/heavy hard work and resistive sucking/blowing/chewing...such as a bubble mountain or a chewy snack or smoothie. Continue to keep the environment quiet and calm for awhile. If the child responds well to swinging, encourage calming rhythmical swinging.
Keep taking deep breaths yourself :-)
As a proactive strategy, be sure you have sensory tools in place to address the types of sensory input which tend to trigger sensory overload, such as noise cancelling headphones or compression clothing to decrease input for tactile defensiveness.